I am a man
Not just a normal man, but a black man
I hurt
But I am not allowed to feel pain
I am allowed to be embarrassed
But not feel shame
I can be sad
But I am not allowed to show it
I want to cry
But I can't. I'm not allowed to
Even when alone, I want to scream
but I don't
I'm not allowed to
I am not allowed to be pissed
If I am I cannot show it
Doing so would change my image into someone angry
I can't have off days
When I do, I pay for it
More pain, though I can't hurt
There is no right for any of these wrongs
Even when I feel helpless
I have to show that I have everything under control
Even when I don't
Sometimes I just want to sulk in my own misery
But this black man can't
I am viewed by this world to be strong-physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually
What if I'm not?
I am viewed to be motivational and enthusiastic
But there are days I'm not
I am a man who shows to be tough
But truly, I am vulnerable to my own emotions
I have to fight through the feelings in my head that consumes my whole body...just to be me- a black man
I bear the weight of the world on my shoulders
Don't worry, I got this
It's in my genetic makeup to carry it
We've been trained for this
No tears
No pain
No hurt
Remain physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually strong for the world I carry.
This is what hurts the most and most emotionally draining
The truth is that I am actually allowed to
Only to those who truly cares for me
I can be free... Freely me
A foreign but great feeling
Yet, sometimes I still choose not to
It's just easier to hold them in
Instead of expressing my emotions,
I choose to suppress them
Hide them away
But there is one who can draw them out on demand
And she is my Love Queen