Emotionless

I am a man

Not just a normal man, but a black man

I hurt

But I am not allowed to feel pain

I am allowed to be embarrassed

But not feel shame

I can be sad

But I am not allowed to show it

I want to cry

But I can't. I'm not allowed to

Even when alone, I want to scream

but I don't

I'm not allowed to

I am not allowed to be pissed

If I am I cannot show it

Doing so would change my image into someone angry

I can't have off days

When I do, I pay for it

More pain, though I can't hurt

There is no right for any of these wrongs

Even when I feel helpless

I have to show that I have everything under control

Even when I don't

Sometimes I just want to sulk in my own misery

But this black man can't

I am viewed by this world to be strong-physically, mentally, emotionally, or even spiritually

What if I'm not?

I am viewed to be motivational and enthusiastic

But there are days I'm not

I am a man who shows to be tough

But truly, I am vulnerable to my own emotions

I have to fight through the feelings in my head that consumes my whole body...just to be me- a black man

I bear the weight of the world on my shoulders

Don't worry, I got this

It's in my genetic makeup to carry it

We've been trained for this

No tears

No pain

No hurt

Remain physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually strong for the world I carry.

This is what hurts the most and most emotionally draining

The truth is that I am actually allowed to

Only to those who truly cares for me

I can be free... Freely me

A foreign but great feeling

Yet, sometimes I still choose not to

It's just easier to hold them in

Instead of expressing my emotions,

I choose to suppress them

Hide them away

But there is one who can draw them out on demand

And she is my Love Queen